To give you a sense of how bad I thought Suckerpunch and Tron Legacy were, I can now safely say that The Phantom Menace is actually a pretty good movie in comparison. I am completely serious here. I know this is blasphemy to many sci-fi/fantasy fans, but here’s the thing—Phantom Menace has a lot of solid storytelling elements that the moviegoing public takes for granted.
Characters are one of these overlooked elements. Jar Jar Binks is one of the most annoying characters to ever set foot on the silver screen, but he’s consistently annoying. You know more or less what you’re getting. He also has a motivation—to stay near the Jedi who gave him a lifedebt. I don’t like the fact that he’s completely incompetent and succeeds because of some accident or another, but Jar Jar Binks is a more substantial character than any of the girls in Suckerpunch. He’s even more substantial than Babydoll, the main character in Suckerpunch. At the beginning she’s a blank slate. She has no personality, other than a very nasty event about to happen, and it’s only when her fantasy becomes the movie that she, or pretty much any other character, develops a personality. The more you think about it, the harder it becomes to reconcile. Even in the Wizard of Oz, if it’s only supposed to be a dream, Dorothy has a clearly-developed character before being swept away by the tornado.
In fact, since there isn’t any characterization in the real world, the motivation and reasoning behind almost any part of the plot is “because.” How do Babydoll’s friends join her in the action sequences? Because. Why is the wise man there? Because. Why do they have to kill all these monsters? Because. Why does one of the characters have to sacrifice herself? Because.
In fact, it’s the whole sacrifice of Babydoll that really makes the entire movie meaningless. She doesn’t escape, her fantasy ends with her getting lobotomized, and Sweet Pea escapes. Granted, the only thing we know of Sweet Pea’s character is what we’ve seen in Babydoll’s fantasy, and how much of that is supposed to transfer over to reality the audience has no idea. Again, why are we supposed to care about Sweet Pea? Because. How does the Wise Man who has supposedly been in Babydoll’s fantasy become a real person with no connection to the asylum where the girls are housed? Because.
In the Phantom Menace, on the other hand, the characters are in the same reality all the time. What happens to Qui-Gon Jinn affects everyone and you know why you should care. It’s a luxury I was unaware I needed until Suckerpunch came along. Not only that, there are definite answers to some of the questions. Why does Padme act so odd toward the Jedi? Because she’s the queen in disguise! Why does Darth Maul have that battle with Qui-Gon on Tattooine? Because he’s tracked a signal to Naboo, sent search droids out, and they located her ship! It’s almost a spiritual experience to watch the Phantom Menace and see just how well the plot fits together when you compare it to Suckerpunch.
By comparison, Tron Legacy has clear characters. Somewhat eye-rolling, because the main character is an extreme sports nut who is also an expert at high-security break-ins and is also a master hacker, but clear. Then he gets swept into the world of Tron, and the whole movie pretty much goes down the toilet after that, in a storm of “because.” How does Rinzler, aka Tron, manage to overcome his programming in his final moments of life? Because. Why can’t Flynn destroy Clu without destroying himself? Because. In fact, why can’t Flynn fight Clu? Because. Why is Quorra’s race so important? Because. Why is Quorra supposed to change everything when she gets out of The Grid? Because.
I’d also like to mention that in both Suckerpunch and Tron Legacy characters utter lines completely at random, without really any context to what is going on around them. When Kevin Flynn rants about how they should just stay at his little villa off The Grid, neither Quorra or Sam actually says why. When Sam decides to go back into The Grid, he says it’s because this is something he has to do with absolutely nothing in the film leading to this moment. When the Wise Man in Suckerpunch gives the girls advice before each mission, his final words of wisdom have nothing to do with the situation they’re in. It would be like if a coach in a football locker room said, “Okay guys, before you go out for the second half, remember—Velcro fastens quicker, but tying your shoelaces gives you more satisfaction.” Compare this to Yoda’s talk to Anakin about how fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering.
I’ll grant you that Jake Lloyd’s performance as Anakin can be wooden, but at least Anakin and all his dialogue fit into the movie. Could Obi-Wan have been used more in the Tatooine sequences? Yes, but at least there was a reason for him to be where he was. Compare this to Sam trying to find the black market program Zuse, who does almost nothing for the movie. He’s this big secretive character, and his secret identity? A slick club owner who you’d expect to be a black market dealer anyway. After that, his only role is to call down the forces of Clu on Sam, Quorra and Flynn, and then stand around while Clu puts a bomb in his hand, which has to rank as one of the most pathetic character deaths of all time. No running, no action whatsoever. He just holds the bomb in his hand and complains as he waits for it to go off. It’s one of the most unnecessary scenes in the movie, and I say that knowing that the best fight scene in Tron Legacy was in the club, thanks to Daft Punk’s “Derezzed.”
I really want to know how anyone could like either of these movies, and why Phantom Menace is still held in such low esteem after these movies came out. Let me know if you can help me on this. I’ll be waiting in line for the Phantom Menace 3-D.
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